Monster
by persephassax
Summary: [AU] [sasunaru] [R&R] Why I'm not allowed to listen to emo music. Kore wa kanashii ketsumatsu no monogatari desu. [Rated for... DEATH :D] [one shot] [redone]


"Faggot" "Homo" "Butt-fucker" "Fairy" I wasn't any of these until HE came along, but the names had been there long before. I have lots of OTHER names too, you know. "Monster" "Freak" "Loser" "Bitch". I don't think half of them even KNOW what my REAL name is. Those that do don't use it, anyway. I had some people, once apon a time, I don't really know what happened to them, they're gone now at any rate. I see some of them around sometimes, others; just gone. Oh well, I guess that's what happens if you're hated for existing. I think most of them are good people, but well, really it's either me or them, I know what I'd choose if I were them.

Shit, that hurt. I didn't even see him coming! That's a cheap shot. Mother fuckers. Everyone is always told to stand up in this kind of situation, if you fight back they'll go away. No, it doesn't work like that, they'll come back with more man-power, or some kind of weapon, or just attack you when you're weak. If you fight back they'll just fight harder, its all about crushing you.

Was that cracking my body or his? I don't feel the pain anymore, the dull aching where my "heart" is supposed to be numbs everything else. They don't know what they do to me. One of these days I'm going to show them EXACTLY what's become of me. I want them to know my pain, all of it. They don't know what its like to go home to an empty house, they don't know what its like to go home to an empty house after being called names all day, they don't know what its like to go home to an empty house after being beaten up, they don't know what its like to go home to an empty house after being hated all day. They don't know any of it. I feel the hatred everywhere I go. Its so intense sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, like I don't have the right to. Sitting by myself, everyday, its hard. They don't know any of it. I want them to know ALL of it.

Oh no, its going black. Shit that's gonna hurt later.

Hey, they're all gone. MOTHER FUCKER, I guess they didn't just leave me when I passed out, I hurt all over. They must have kicked me and beat me even after I was out. I can't take this anymore.

I can't take this anymore.

_I can't take this anymore._

He gets up, he isn't thinking. There is no one inside now, he's just a shell filled with hurt. Empty.

He's walking up to the school now. The weight of the gun in his hand is the only thing he knows now. He only knows that they have to know, know what he became, all his hurt. They're walking up to him know, they're sneering, they don't know who he is, what he is now. One shot, two, three. The first one falls eyes wide open, he didn't know what hit him. The rain is falling down on him. No one can see his tears, his eyes are wide and empty, the beautiful blue dulled.

He didn't hear the shots, he felt his finger pull the trigger and he saw the others fall, but he didn't hear anything. He walks toward the door. His hand reaches out and grasps the handle. With a little tug, he's inside. He walks, he isn't seeing now, he can hear his own feet on the floor. He turns to a classroom, at random. When he walks in, he turns and brings the gun up. The room goes silent from its previous chatter. He can't tell the difference. He pulls the trigger again and again. He can't hear their screams, he can't even see them fall anymore. The tears are streaming down his cheeks. He doesn't know why he's here anymore. He walks out when the room is silent again. Deathly silent.

People had flooded into the hallways to see what had happened, why people were screaming. When he walks into the hallway, he pulls the trigger again. Someone screams, "you monster!" The tears cascade faster over his scarred cheeks. Other people are screaming. He couldn't hear them. Monster.

Monster.

_Monster._

He's shooting faster, people are running away. Many of them fall, he has two triggers to pull now. The tears are going as fast as the bullets. The hallway is empty now. Suddenly there is another figure is there. His grey eyes are wide. The tears fall faster, the gun's at his own head, now.

"Sorry." Bang.

BANG.

_BANG. _

The last shot echos. Not the same as the others. The ebony haired boy catches the body of the one with the blue eyes. Cradling the body to him, he doesn't care what he did. Why. His black bangs fall in front of his eyes. Someone is walking up behind him. He turns to them.

"Are you happy now? Are you all happy now?" He's screaming. "YOU KILLED HIM! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

They don't understand, they say they didn't kill him. They did, they did. They killed him from the inside out. Now, he's alone. Maybe the other is happy now, its quiet where he is now, he won't have to hear the word "monster" anymore. He won't have to hear it anymore.

He won't have to hear it anymore.

_He won't have to hear it anymore._


End file.
